there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
