whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
