The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i just had sex bonerless
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
