He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
