your room smells of hookers.
And success
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
