he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
