Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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