accomplished twins. life is a go
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
