Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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