I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
