Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
