I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
