"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
