just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
