Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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