Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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