my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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