Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Less talking, more tequila
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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