dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
