We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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