why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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