K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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