How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
