Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
