just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
