I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
birth control should be required to get into college
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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