it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
