Kiss
Puke
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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