He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
