Someone shit on the floor
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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