And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
