definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
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