peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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