She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
