I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
