My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I need a beard to bite.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
