That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
