Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
My pussy is not your playground.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
