I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize