you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize