i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
