Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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