well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
