he thought i was a dude.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
