standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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