We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize