Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
