I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
