But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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