Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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