That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
