last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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