We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
