So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
ttyl tear gas
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
