Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
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