the new term for farting is butt boxing.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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