I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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