What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize