you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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