tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
