I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
