Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
